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This blog is not written entirely from my own personal perspective or experience. I pulled most of these ideas from what I've seen in others' lives and from what has been shared with me. Parts of this are written based off of myself trying to look through their eyes.

Loneliness...

Nothing could be quite so painful. Unfortunately it's a pain that we all know far too well. Not many people can say that they haven't spent a night awake until four in the morning all alone in their bedroom. We've all done it. We sit up in bed watching TV, surfing the Internet, blogging, or simply staring at the shadows on the walls. As we do this, we think the same thing as one another: how painful it is to be alone in the blackness of our bedrooms, only lit by the light of our computer and TV, while we know our friends sleep contently.

We fill our lonely void with envy. Everyone becomes jealous of their friends, wishing to be them. But why? Are their lives really so much greater than our own? No. They go through equal amounts of loneliness as we. For all we know, the nights we lie awake in bed, they are as well. Yet we go on telling ourselves that their lives are so great and so much better than our own. For whatever reason they have it made; they are stress free.

All we wind up doing is bashing ourselves. We explain how the world is out to get is; how everyone else is allowed to be loved, but for reasons unknown to us we are not allowed to be loved along with them. "We don't deserve happiness," we say. "Everyone wants us to suffer, and takes merriment in our unbearable trials." We never know why any of this is, but we say it like we know it's true. But the real fact of the matter is that it's false in all of its entirety. In actuality, nothing could be more wrong. Deep in our hearts do we really believe it is possible for the entire world to be that twisted and evil? Luckily, most of us know deep down that it's not, but unfortunately some of us don't. If you take my opinion, those people are the true "twisted" of this world. Those are the people that really need help.

Instead of focusing on how great others have it, we should think more about what we have that maybe they don't. Perhaps we should talk with our friends about our lives. Open up a little. Our friends (who probably lie awake envying us) would be able to tell us what we have that is great in our lives, and all that we should be grateful for. However, none we all refuse to tell them of our secret envy. We know that if our friends knew of our selfish thoughts of suicide and self-deprivation, they would be furious. That is why we keep them tucked away in the back corners of our minds.

Someday this world will crumble. Someday we will die. Someday our loved ones will die. Someday we will be old and arthritic. Someday we will lose our independence. Someday we will truly be alone. Someday we need to stop our selfish thoughts. Someday we need to put an end to our jealousy. And someday we need to realize that our lives are fine, and that the others that we envy may just have it worse than we do ourselves and envy us.