A song that makes me smile...

Lemonheads - Into Your Arms

I know a place where I can go when I'm alone
Into your arms whoa into your arms I can go
I know a place that's safe and warm from the crowd
Into your arms whoa into your arms I can go
And if I should fall
I know I won't be alone
Be alone anymore

I know a place where I can go when I'm alone
Into your arms whoa into your arms I can go
I know a place that's safe and warm from the crowd
Into your arms whoa into your arms I can go
So if I should fall
I know I won't be alone
Be alone anymore

I know a place where I can go when I'm alone
Into your arms whoa into your arms I can go
I can go...

So I have had this one specific person on my mind all day. So this is up here purely for the sake that this song makes me think of that person and it has been in my head all day. (It is also here because that person thinks Evan Dando is sexy).

The First Emporer Of The United States & The Protector Of Mexico

No bullshit. The U.S. once had an emperor. He lived in San Francisco. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Joshua A. Norton.

Albert Fish

Could people get any creepier? I doubt it.

Thank God Kat Von D Has Tattoos

Kat Von D is beautiful. I'd kill to look like her, tattoos and all. Her ink gives her character and this kind of tough girl sexiness. She is a tatted up sex goddess!

However, one day I was watching her show on TLC, La Ink, and she was doing a photo shoot for her new fragrance at Sephora. She did two pictures. One revealed all of her tattoos and made her look tough and sexy. In the other, all of her tattoos had been removed in editing. She was still a goddess without them, but she is much hotter with them. I am so glad that the real Kat Von D is the one where she is covered in sexy tattoos!

Killer Clown

John Wayne Gacy Jr. aka Killer Clown

Everyone who is like me, and in their spare time looks up random facts about serial killers/rapists, already knows who this is. Gacy Jr. was an American serial killer in the 1970s. He was convicted and later executed for the murder and rape of 33 boys and young men. The weapon of choice: a two by four wooden plank. Twenty-seven of which were buried in the crawl space beneath his house, the rest were found in the Des Paines River. He was given the name "Killer Clown" because of the many block parties he threw, where he entertained children in his clown suit under the name Pogo the Clown.

What I wonder is why? What I know of the man's history is that he came from a family with a father who was physically and verbally abusive. (This might explain why all of his victims were male). However his mother and sisters were very loving and affectionate towards him, and would lovingly call him Johnny.

Another factor that may or may not have to do with his drive in the murders, is the head trauma he experienced when he was eleven. Gacy Jr. was hit in the head by a swing, which resulted in a blood clot in his brain. The remainder of Gacy's minor life was no easier. He was a high school drop out, after attending four different high schools, who left his family during what should have been his senior year.

So Gacy Jr.'s upbringing was rough. But is that reason enough to murder innocent people? For him, it apparently was. For many murderers, it's more than enough. People like this are still out there everywhere (oooo scary!); I chose to write about him because I find him to be one of the most fascinating. I mean when you step back and look at him in less detail, he is merely a homosexual serial killing clown, convicted of sodomy and murder, and was then executed, but just before he was put down like the dog he was, he shouted back to the world "Kiss my ass!"

Famous John Wayne Gacy Jr. Quotes:

"I never should have been convicted of anything more serious than running a cemetery without a license." (Isn't he a mother-fucking creep? Fascinating.)

"Kiss my ass!" (His last words.)

"A clown can get away with murder." (Obviously, he himself is proof that a clown cannot.)

"How could I live on top of these bodies?" (In some disgusting, demented manner apparently.)

"I got news for you. If the legal test of insanity- If Jeffery Dahmer doesn't meet the legal test of insanity, God help the one that does meet it. I mean it-it has to be really something. If Jeffery Dahmer doesn't meet the legal test of insanity, then no one does." (This is pretty true. Dahmer is insane, but Gacy Jr. is too.)

Say no to removing legs from a caterpillar!

As a kid (before I knew any better) my brother and I would "play" with bugs. What we really did was burn them, feed small ones to large ones, open them up from their stomachs, etc. Looking back on that now, I feel bad. I am strongly against animal cruelty of all sorts, but especially when people are killing creatures for the sheer pleasure of it. Yeah I know they are just bugs, but imagine if this behavior would have progressed. Could have moved up to birds and lizards, and so forth from there. Parents, please don't let your children "play" with bugs. It's downright mean, and just plain gross!

15 Things You Don't Need To Know

Nothing in this blog can benefit you greatly. At most it will make you look semi-cool if you bring one of these up when you're talking to your friends.

1. Clinophobia is the fear of beds.

2. Mark Twain was born and died on days when Halley's Comet could be seen.

3. The original game of monopoly was circular.

4. Ninety million people survive on less the $75 a year.

5. Racecar spelled backwards is racecar, and kayak spelled backwards is kayak.

6. More people are killed by donkeys annually than in plane crashes.

7. Most elephants weigh less than the tongue of a blue whale.

8. You burn more calories sleeping than watching TV.

9. All 50 states are listed on the top of the Lincoln Memorial.

10. The real name of the "I've fallen and I can't get up" lady is Edith Fore.

11. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

12. The state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work is Alaska.

13. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

14. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

15. A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

My life as of now.

Life is really anguishing everyone right about now. At least there is comfort in knowing that everything, both good and bad, will come to its end. Hardship does not last forever. And even though sometimes when you walk outside you are caught in the rain, at least you have an umbrella. But even if you don't for whatever reason, look at the rain through a child's eyes: rain can be fun and pretty. You get to splash in puddles and make a mess of yourself......... I miss the actual rain.

Bring on the Rain by Jo Dee Messina

Another day has almost come and gone
Cant imagine what else could wrong
Sometimes Id like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war (cause)

Tomorrows another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

Its almost like the hard times circle round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but I'm not dead

Tomorrows another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

I'm not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry
And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight


Best wishes to everyone feeling the pain of life right now; my hopes and sympathy go out to all of you.

What makes you happy?

At some odd point in life, usually when it seems that life is not worth living, you find something worth all the while. You've gone through more anguish than you ever believed you could withstand, but at least now you know why you did it.

Who knows what it is that you found, or why it came to you at such a time? The fact of the matter is that you found it. And foolish are you if you even consider letting it go or getting rid of it.

If you have something that makes you happy, don't humor others by obeying them if they disagree with what it is that you have. What should matter to you and to everyone else is that you found something that made you happy.

That something could be anything: living or dead. Just hold onto it. Good things happen every day, but something as great as what you've found does not even come around as often as a blue moon.

Middle School Creative Assignment

In either seventh or eighth grade (I don't remember which grade for sure) I had to do a creative writing assignment. It was probably the easiest thing I've ever done. What we had to do was choose words, any that we could think of (or invent), and turn them into a metaphor type-ish thing. Like I said: easy. Well I found pieces of the final assignment, and I think they are pretty interesting, considering I wrote them five years ago.

Rain
The cloud's tears

Butterfly
Nature's angel

Care
Universal band-aid

Diet
Substitute for starvation

Wind
Unspoken Secrets

Red
A bloody massacre

Life
A game no one wins

Darkness and Light
The last thing you see before you die
And the first thing you see after

Shoulder
The only tissue that actually dries tears

Fakeness
The mask everyone wears

Mirrors
What makes people hate themselves

Judgement
The cause of all our insecurities

Smile
Merely a mask to a frown

I think it is safe to say that I was a demented (perhaps tormented) little child. Oh my poor pre-teen brain!

Bwwahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

R.I.P. King of the Hill

January 12th 1997 - September 13th 2009

You will be missed.

You will be avenged! The Cleveland Show cannot replace you. Fuck you FOX!!!!

The New (and just as evil) No-calorie Sweetener

Splenda is today's latest craze in artificial sweeteners. It is found in foods nationwide both in restaurants and supermarket shelves. Most people believe they have found a way to eat sugary foods without the result of weight gain. They see it as a healthy alternative to sugar. But let's face the facts: Splenda is unhealthy and harmful to the body.

What is Splenda? It is simply chlorinated sugar. Let's look at some other places that chlorine can be found. If you read the labels on inedible products such as disinfectants, insecticides, and bleach you will find chlorine. Obviously, we know it is hazardous to ingest any of these products; there are even warning labels on the products themselves saying to keep away from eyes, nose, and mouth and out of reach of children. Chlorine is considered nature's attack dog. So is it healthy, or even safe, to consume a product containing chlorine?

What happened during safety tests before Splenda hit our grocery stores? In test animals, Splenda produces swollen livers and calcified the kidneys. The chemicals in Splenda attacked the nervous system, as well as other body systems including genetics and immune function. It has been discovered that Splenda shrinks thymus glands, which is known as the seat of biological immunity.

Like aspartame, which sold as Equal, Splenda induces hypersensitivity diseases which are now becoming rampant.

Why do people choose Splenda? Often people decide to purchase Splenda over natural sugar because it is calorie-free! Sounds great right? However, all artificial sweeteners, including Splenda, increase and intensify appetite. It becomes harder to resist that candy bowl at work and it is more likely that someone will give into food advertisements and indulge in their craving.

What about Splenda in children? Kids have never responded well to artificial sweeteners. In almost all cases children undergo behavior changes that are not for the positive. Children are known to become depressed and/or aggressive after consuming enough Splenda, or any artificial sweetener for a long enough time frame. Even ingesting Splenda during pregnancy is shown to cause behavioral issues for children in the future.

Is it safe to be ingesting a food that contains chlorine, has been shown to cause hazardous health issues, intensifies appetite, and causes children to be sad and/or angry? Of course not. But people still consume it, some even do it unknowingly. Do not be fooled by the name it's been given: sucralose, which is a spin off of sugar's technical name sucrose. If anywhere on the ingredients of a food you read sucralose instead of sucrose, do not purchase this food. It is the hazardous Splenda that is actually sweetening your food, not natural sugar.

Aroma Cafe

I love finding little shops, restaurants, and coffee houses that are unique and give you that warm and welcoming vibe. I've found quite a few over the years, but so far my favorite is the coffee shop/restaurant my boyfriend and I discovered a few months back called Aroma Cafe.

We were first drawn to this place because of the awesome neon sign they have out front (my boyfriend and I both have an infatuation with neon). It was a few minutes before closing when we went in, so the place seemed dead. We ordered some drinks and headed out. However the overall look of Aroma was cozy, it felt like you were sitting at home (permitted that your home is cozy).

We loved the vibes we got off of the appearance of Aroma so much that we went back within the next couple of days. On our next visit it was several hours before closing, and it was packed. The line for food extended out the door. All of the tables and decorations were set out and full of people. He and I were not fond of the immense crowd, however it was not bothersome either. Everything else about the place suited us perfectly. Nearly all of the seating is outdoors and lit with Christmas lights that are stung overhead. All the tables look different from each other. There are random mirrors, gnomes, and statues placed all throughout the dining terrace. The electicness of the decor was random but all flowed perfectly together.

In a future visit, we decided to have dinner there. We split a simple grilled cheese, but it was the best grilled cheese either of us has eaten to date. So not only were the drinks and surroundings awesome at this place, but we learned that the food was incredible too.

We have yet to find a flaw in Aroma. The line to order food does get rather extensive, but the cafe offers call in orders for pick up. I have been satisfied with all that Aroma offers, especially the service. Just about everyone who has served me has been friendly and down to earth. I frequently go back to Aroma; several times a week. I recommend Aroma to anyone who likes unique dining or just a cozy environment.

One last point on Aroma that makes it so "cool" (dare I say), is the bookstore within it. Portrait of a Bookstore is located inside of Aroma Cafe. It is rather small, but it sells very unique nick-knacks, unusual greeting cards, and great reads. For nerds like me who love to read, Portrait of a Bookstore is a perfect place to find new and interesting books.

Aroma Cafe is located on Tujunga in Studio City just south of Moorpark.

Finding beauty in an ugly place

Personally, I find Southern California to be an ugly place in the midst of August. The land is dry and dead. Even come winter time there is not enough rain to flourish the long dead California land. However, despite the fact that I generally find SoCal to be an ugly place, within my own California backyard I found little bits of beauty in this August heat.

Most people find California to beautiful and glorious. Undoubtedly it is, and I have learned to appreciate it. But despite the beauty I have captured in these pictures, I am still seeking a more scenic land. More greenery, more cloudy days. Sunshine, along with magnificent sunsets and sunrises are great. However I find the most beautiful days are when the sky is covered with rain clouds.

What do I know about life?

I don't know much, but I have found this to be true:

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." - Robert Frost

Life usually tends to suck, but at least we can find comfort in knowing that whatever pain we are going through will someday end. All we can do is hope it ends sooner opposed to later.

Intelligence Through the Emotions of a Child

"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is youer than you." - Dr. Seusse

If only more people had this whimsical wisdom. To feel like a child, but to be wise like an adult.

Those seemingly "harmless" flaws of his, could kill you.

"You never know what you got until it's gone"

Lucky for me, I realized what I had when it was almost gone instead of actually gone.

My story behind this is of what happened to my boyfriend earlier tonight. He was in his parked car, just about to step out. As he set his foot on the pavement, he heard an enraged voice shout, "Jeremy!" That obviously being his name, made him look. What he saw was a horrifying sight: a young man who had been threatening both of our lives for months. Before tonight we believed that the trouble had ceased, and our let our guards down. However, this boy was ready to fulfill all of his evil promises he had made to us months prior. The boy got into a car chase with my boyfriend, Jeremy, down the 405 freeway. I was terrified for Jeremy, wishing that the worst would not come. Who knows what could have happened if Jeremy had been unable to get him off his tail? He could have been beaten and hospitalized, or worse I could have lost him, and the silly, fun-loving, happy couple in the picture above would not exist as a couple anymore.

So why am I sitting up at two in the morning sharing this story? Because after what I experienced tonight I find it necessary to share how important it is in picking romantic relationships. Just under two years ago I began a relationship with someone who I knew deep down was never going to be good enough for me. He smoked pot, believed college was foolish, settled for dead-end jobs, and dreamed of living a life of laziness. Caught up in teenage puppy love, I fell for all of his charades. He somehow had me believing that he was going to live a life of luxury off of dormancy. I put myself through hell for just under a year of a relationship with him, and for what? Simply pain.

Why did I let it happen? Why did I fall for all of his tricks? Honestly, who knows? I made a foolish mistake, and now myself and my (understanding) boyfriend are paying to hell for it. My now ex-boyfriend is the boy who got into a car chase with my new (and much better suitor) boyfriend, Jeremy, on a freeway in LA.

THIS IS A WARNING TO ALL GIRLS AND WOMEN. Everyday, a woman falls to domestic violence. A good number of which actually lose their lives in the process.

Not to talk myself up, but I am a smart, determined, brave, and wise young woman. If it can happen to me, it can happen to just about anyone. Always watch for strange behaviors. If you see one red flag sign, get the hell out of there before the situation escalades to something equal to or worse than my current one. If you love them, fuck it. I loved mine too. I truly cared for him. But the destruction on me wasn't worth it, and I should have ended that relationship far sooner than I did. However, because I shamefully clinged to my "love" for him, I am now in a ready-to-dial-911 situation tonight, and it may exceed into tomorrow.

I want all girls and women to be careful. Let's face it, men are built to be stronger and faster, it is a scientific fact. If they snap one day they will hurt us if they get the chance. I want all girls and women in relationships with red flag signs to get out. It may seem hard, and unnecessary now, but you will be kicking yourself if you do not do it soon. I was lucky; I got out before it got to the point to where I couldn't, and even still I am paying for it. Get out of these violent and potentially violent relationships. THE PRICE YOU PAY MAY BE YOUR LIFE IF YOU DON'T!

Song

Lately, there has been a song, that I hadn't listened to in quite some time, that has really become prominent to me: A Walk Through Hell by Say Anything. I am not the hugest fan of this band, but the lyrics of this particular song are just speaking to me, well more like shouting to me. It's always in my head; I'm always thinking of what it means. These are the lyrics. I'd recommend just giving it a listen just for the sake of the lyrics.

And if I could swim, I'd swim out to you in the ocean,
Swim out to where you were floating in the dark.
And if I was blessed, I'd walk on the water you're breathing,
To lend you some air for that heaving, sunken chest.

'Cause they chose you as the model for their empty little dreams,
With your new head and your legs spread like a filthy magazine.
And they hunt you, and they gut you, and you give in.

And if I was brave, I'd climb up to you on the mountain,
They led you to drink from their fountain spouting lies.
And I'd slay the horrible beast they commissioned
To steer me away from my mission to your eyes.
And I'd stand there, like a soldier, with my foot upon his chest,
With my grin spread, and my arms out, in my bloodstained Sunday's best,
And you'd hold me; I'd remind you who you are under their shell.

I'd walk through hell for you, let it burn right through my shoes
These soles are useless without you
Through hell for you, let the torturing ensue;
My soul is useless without you...

And if they send a whirlwind, I'd hug it like a harmless little tree.
Or an earthquake, I'd calm it, and I'd bring you back to me.
And I'd hold you in my weak arms like a first born.

I'd walk through hell for you, let it burn right through my shoes,
These soles are useless without you
Through hell for you, let the torturing ensue;
My soul is useless without you...

Through hell for you
Through hell for you
Without you, without you...

Now I've walked through hell for you.
What's an adventurer to do,
But rest these feet at home with you?